I'm a Unicorn and I Make Twenty-six Dollars an Hour

I heard the most amazing sentence ever spoken by a human being at the open mike at the vegan place. A "poet" was reading a poem entitled "20 Reasons I Hate Unicorns," which mostly involved blaming unicorns for life's minor inconveniences. A grizzled gray-bearded homeless-looking guy completely freaked out and delivered this rant:

My boss makes unicorns he makes a million dollars a year what do you make? don't talk shit about unicorns man, you ain't making nothing. get up there and talk shit about unicorns when my boss makes a million dollars a year. we wear these shirts with unicorns on the shoulder at work, man. I'm a unicorn and I make twenty-six dollars an hour what do you make?