I'd been planning on finding a normal-looking family--maybe headed by a Wal-Mart employee--and stalking them, photographing them and photoshopping myself into the photos and making an artist's book / photoalbum about "my" family and how much they love me. Writing elaborate stories about the time we went tubing or watched a NASCAR race together, all tragically heartfelt and more than a little pathetic in their eager earnestness.
The logistics are dragging me down.
2 comments:
Wal-Mart's really getting to you, huh?
A noted anthropologist once wrote a book studying the effects on the family when dad was late leaving for work. This simple little fact exploded, then proceeded to devour the family's day. Everyone was miserable, off schedule, and lost.
*sigh* Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of joy just thinking about it.
Anyway... I agree on the Walmart employee totally, but wonder... how about the family man who's also the Walmart greeter,what if HE/SHE was late getting out the door?
He'll miss morning confession; the visit to the blood clinic for his transfusion, speech therapy, and probably forget to bring enough cash to pay for his uniform pickup at the dry cleaners. *swoon*
Besides the benefits for your photos, just ponder, then roll around in the knowledge that somewhere, someone, is truly having a guilt-developing day (let's face it...no matter what he says, he's a walmart greeter and ALWAYS wrong. AND, he'll still have to burble and burp a happy hello to all the walking bags of trans-fat as they huff and puff their way through the doors). Just makes you wanna lay back in a sewer and pop a bottle of bubbly.
I truly believe a small amount of ponderance would reveal a most imaginative way of introducing "lag" into his day.
Oh... if any walmart greeters are offended, I apologize profusely. Next time I'll just rail at Walmart for using such a simple trick to look like they give a damned.
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